just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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