real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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