Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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