Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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