I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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