Buhtt sex?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
