Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
