She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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