You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
