ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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