great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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