You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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