cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
