I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize