think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize