I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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