The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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