Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
