one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
