seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
