im about as happy as oj after his trial
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this will be a night to untag.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
