i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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