Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
