I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize