Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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