Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
