my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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