I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sober January is a disaster.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
