she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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