i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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