Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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