he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
