He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
