You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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