Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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