im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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