They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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