Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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