I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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