you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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