I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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