My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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