Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
