thus making me awesome and them whores
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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