Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
