So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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