New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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