Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
