Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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