Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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