I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
