Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
