I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
