I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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