You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
