Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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