well you can't waste a boner
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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