Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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