Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
