omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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