Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
