I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize