Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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