brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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