i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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