Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
