i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
