she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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